Dedicated expecially for U~

"The Reason"

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

My Heart says.. This is my Life

Saturday, Oct 2010, Approx. 10.39am

Im not feeling too well today. I dont know why but there is some uneasy feeling inside me but I just cant explained myself what it is...Cant I be tired sometimes in my life? I know life is sometimes have  ups and down but lately, the down is always in my side, luckily not for too long..If this occur, I know there is something I did wrong in life, or something not too good coming without my knowing.

I didnt say that Im not satisfied with my life, but sometimes I just felt I want more than what I have been given. but Life have its own rules, that we compulsory have to follow it. In religion also have the guidelines that I have to follow, and I never ever ever doubt it. Everything happen must have their reason, I know. Mybe the reason will come out later.

At the moment, I felt so much guilt. It wasnt suppose to be like this. Am I doing the wrong decision? I felt that, I have been greedy to this feeling. I hold to trust, but sometime i've betrayed it. I hate being like this, have to do decision, which include my future. Lately I have some talk with <.....>, we talk about something that I felt guilty. I didnt meant to be secretive, but i have to. What ever it is, as long as we promise not too for this time, I will kept the secret safely in my heart. There are too many secrets I hold tightly in my chest, which sometimes when one of the secret being touched by that certain people, I felt guilt. Am I being wrong to kept the secret? Should I told her? Even I think that if she know this, she will relief about her doubt <the big one>, but I think it will affected someone else. That is why I choose to keep silent, if its for the best. but still guilty buildup inside me. Sometimes I felt tired, I want to run away from all this, but I guess the fate have chosen me to be like this. Its not wrong to sacrifice to someone else..but sometime I just couldn't sacrifice myself. Am I being selfish? I like to be seen as happy as I can, but could I be like one, when something is just not right inside? What am I suppose to do? The only thing I can see what I can do now is smile..I felt much better this way..(^-^)b

I like to be as honest as I can be, and I believe honesty is the best thing. but honesty sometimes is not always the good way lately. I hate lying, and I hate it when I have too but thinking it again, its the only way to save the situation. Sometimes I felt I'm being too greedy. I want everything good in my life, but I know decision should be made. Its someone else life that I touch, and it will affected their whole life with my decision. Do I have the gut to do it? I just cant, because I don't want to ruin their life. but if I'm not doing it, I will make it worst.. Am I? Smiling surely reduced thing, but some time this smile makes the disaster. Its the main reason why the problem being this way. Is this my fault for being too easy to give smile? Smile and the world will smile with u, but with smile I trapped into this, and I couldn't make it out. I love being me, but sometimes being me is tiring. What ever it is, I still love being me, I am the chosen one to walk this path of life - My Own Life. (^__^)V

I like~ v(^____^)V

Friday, Oct. 2010. Approx. 8.53pm

Semalam g Shah Alam, saje2 g lepak umah P adik Adah. Ye ar, die da thun akhir sok2 da xjmpe g..tu pasal ar g bmalam uma sewa die..yg xtahan smpai2 ptg tu dok layan cite korea darling uda ni..haha. patut alang2 smpai g ar lepak2 round s.alam kan..ntah la apsal tah penat giler kot, sbb demam sikit sbnrnyer.Malas nk layan demam nie, tpi bile da tduduk<konon2 nk rehat jap la..tgk cite uda nie> termengantok n tertido la plk, hehe..

Bangun2 plak da kol4+, alang2 trus siap la nk kuar jalan..ngam2 tgh bsiap encik Hafiz msg plk..good timing btol. Pastu alang2 siap lepak2 la kat bwh, mls lak dok dalam bilik. da tu lepak2 kat bwh jmpe sejenis ulat bulu yg pelikss giler2 kaler putih. Mula2 nyer nk takotkn uda, sbb nmpak cm semut dok angkut debu2 <lgpn mmg byk giler semut kecik merah tu kat situ> skali bile tgk dkat2 siyes geli giler..btol2 ulat bulu rupenyer~ warghhh, nyesal dok kenakan org, rupenyer btol2 tu..haha<padan muke kah aku?;p> xsempat adah nk snap pic ulat tu, laju giler die lari, mentang2 la kaki byk..ewww, geli gile bile tbayang balik. Tp mmg ade hikmah la nape terase nk amik pic ulat tu, rupe2nye adah punye memori kad kamera tertinggal kat atas, kena ar die amik balik..kesian tu, panjat tangga 6 tingkat kot, da la xde lif. Xpe ar adah, xcersize kan..;p Dok lepak2 ngn uda sempat la mengabdikan muke kitorg kat kamera phone, hehe~

Tempat pertama singgah-Nasi Ayam Pak Mal. Tengahari tu mmg xmkn lgsung, pastu dok tbyg2 mcm2 so menu yg ngidam giler ms tu mmg ns aym jer..nsb sume pn layan ns aym, haha~  Pastu g I-City, sbb Uda blom penah g lg..tu pasal la g gak wpon kena byr RM5. Xper la..berbaloi la wpon dlm tu da xseberapa sgt daripada ms first datang <ms msh g FOC>. berbaloi dpt tunaikan impian org yg nk sgt g, puas hati tgk kegembiraan uda..Thanks Encik Hafiz Malek, hehe~

Balik cmbiase makan g sblm balik kat Ulek Mayang..hehe. Sian kat Hafiz, da la xpacking lgi, ade hati kitorg curi ms die lm2 g lepak2 kdai mkn, thnks a lots sgt2 kat die..(^____^)


Nak uplod pic actually, tapi tenet ni mengong la plk..tensi2. xper ar, next post nk letak pic2 fav aku ms kat sne, later ya...(^___________^)

Kehidupan di Taska Cahaya Tiara

Thursday, Oct 2010. Approx. 10.46am.

Baru jer balik dari antar budak taska balik swimming..arini awl giler kol8 g da btolak g Danau, UKM. On the way tu mcm2 la plk pesanan budak2 nie, nk karipap la..teacher2, nk air skali..air pn bukan calang2, air ribena..ciss! aku layankn karipap jer, air?telan air liur la..haha~ <kejamkah aku? (!__!)>

Sampai2 ngm2 ngn teacher yg ngajar swimming..ok la, xlewat cm aritu..kang kena saun g abes la..plak da arini mmg last aku ngantar swim tok bulan nie..bln depan aku da balik Labuan, xde la nk jmpe teacher2 swimming nie lagi..<blushing2..;p> ngam la plk arini sume nk tegur aku, adakah kerana aku berbaju kurung arini?haha..tpi sblm balik td smpat la plk life saver kat situ suh aku lawat2 die kat sne, kesian..bosan kot abg tu kat situ..harap ade bdk2 ni dtg swim jer la br berseri swimming pool tu..


Erm..balik2 br terase ngntuk giler..smlm tido lmbat sikit, bgn awl giler..ni ingat nk tido jp, tpi cm mls la plk..payah ar cmnie, ngntuk tpi xley tido..xper la, smpai Shah Alam karang tido umah adik adah..tu pun kalo tertido la..haha. Da la plak lapa giler tdi, makan karipap n pow roti bdk taska nie <erm..actually bkn pow, Inas da khaskan tok teacher kesayangan die nie..hehe, muah3..syg Inas> pastu bley plak ms sembang2 dalam keta Lisa ckp kan bagus kalo teacher Ina sakit, bley la teacher ain ngajar kitorg..<fyi, teacher Ina merupakan mama Lisa, wahaha..> aku gelak giler dgr..bdk2 ni jujur sgt pn payah..sok2 kalo mama die aka Teacher Ina dengar maunyer aku da kena ban dari dtg taska..

Aleesya

Mohd Edriel Afiq

Aleesya pn da start obses ngn aku nie..apsal la plk xthu la..bdk len yg dekat aku sume mkn sepak terajang die..my Dear Eddy pn aku tgk dari jauh jer..cam cinta xkesampaian..huhu.Eddy pn asik merajuk jer ngn aku, dok sudut bilik ngadap dinding, tu mmg style mrajuk die la tu..Im so sorry dear Eddy, nnt teacher bw g date kat taman arnab faveret Eddy ea..

Rindu plk ngn budak2 taska nie..ade 6 hari jer lagi kat sini b4 balik labuan. Lamenyer kat sane, huhu..aritu pas 1bulan balik sini sume bdk2 ni cm mmbesar xsangka2..byk tol perubahan. Azam da stat byk cite, tot tet tot tet xhenti2..Awatif msh mentain melekat2, mmmg source utama sepak terajang Aleesya, baby kembar pn da besar, Aliff makin manjer, Fahmi mentain blurr tpi da bley bcakap jelas, bdk2 besar sume kumpul cite nk sembang ngn teacher die nie..huhu. Sebelum balik ni nk amik video dorg la..miss sgt2 dorg nnt..LOVE U GUYS SOOOOOO MUCH..harap yg besar2 tu blom masuk tadika la ms aku balik nnt, kang sedey giler xsempat jumpe..(!--!')

People Plans, Allah Execute on His Own Willing

Wednesday, October 2010. Approx 9.19am.

Raining again in morning, got sore throat and a bit fever. My body can handle everything except rain, just cant resist it. A tiny drop can make the temperature up, luckily not high enough to make me on bed all day long. Actually, last night, there was so many planning I want to do for today. I thought I might go home since this Thursday got something else to be done. < fyi, weekly routine(every Thursday): go home luring time with family, a day a week>  So this early morning i thought i go home first and fetch both Umairah and Haziq by 430pm when all the sudden I realize I have to send kids to swimming class by 9am. This warmth bed and the cold raining atmosphere outside make me a loadzzz of lazy to get up, and 730am a short yet reliefs message knocking my phone said no swimming class today.Yess!! guess i can sleep a bit longer but I set myself up at 830, and I can go home after that. But then a short notice message came in said Umairah not to school today. Oh my, guess today i have to fetch Haziq as usual:12.30pm.

So many obstacles come all the sudden even though we do the plan earlier. Even sometimes its kinda slightly disappointment come from the heart, but who are we to get mad? The saying that People Plans, Allah Execute on His Own Willing is definitely true, and as long we can take a tight hold of it and always have a back up plans, there is nothing more regretting nor felt disappointed in the plans that we already make. A wise person should know how to be flexible right? Life teach us everyday and today lesson is - BE FLEXIBLE.

Oh yes, and the result of my story <or my planning>? The plan of getting home is compulsory, so my backup plan is after send Uda to work, fetch Haziq and send him home safely and I will go home after that, which take the time at 12.30pm. Its ok, all the things occurred in life, must have hikmah behind that. I can do this blog entry at this time <can I call it 'hikmah' too? ;p> by the way, tomorrow I have to send them swimming tomorrow by 830am, fetch Umairah by 1230pm and send Haziq home after that so might get to Shah Alam by evening since have to go by afternoon. Wait up for us guys...(^____________________^) b

What lies beneath~

Tuesday, 26th October 2010. Approx. 8.54PM

What life gives a person until certain person will give up easily?

HARDWORK - I do give up sometimes. but if something triggered me to be more hardwork, i might do the best <easy example: developing this blog, only me and he know how hardwork we become to settle certain probs in this blog,heheh> As live promising something, we still have to do the best and not only hoping without no intention to make it work. Its what you have to do to make things work.

LOYALTY - I do believe loyalty is everything, even some obstacle come and make us be unsure, we have to hang on something, have faith in it, that is when the loyalty becoming the important point of life.

TRUSTEES -I do trust people, but not all, mostly not easily. That is why when a person make things that make me lost my trust, he/she needs to pay back in any form to gain it back, and its become more harder to take back what is lost inside.

RESPONSIBLE - I believe I am responsible person, yet i hate people who is being unbelievably selfish. What they get when being selfish? Ok, maybe they got something extra, maybe they can surely sleep soundlessly at night without hesitation, but do they realize that having people suffer will send them much more pain life without they know? Life is yin and yang, Life is black and white, Life have good and bad, Life have payback- it is a PROMISE. Live Life to the Fullest! V(^________________^)V

The Reason

From my student-NURIN

25th Birthday (August 2010)

Tuesday, Oct 26th 2010 - approx 2.10PM
Start my first line of blog entry. Nothing much to say, just learning is quite interesting if we like to know about something. Life haven't been so hard if we take it easily, but somehow its become harder moreover worsen if we complicated things - which everything comes from heart.

Some people says i'm being so complicated yet making things hard to understand me. Honestly-yes i do admit. I make from outside easier but hard from inside, in my heart. Which may lead certain person said I'm being hypocrite (Am I?). I like to do things a bit perfect, yet i know well there is no perfect person out there..< if there is, show me at least a person (^__^)b >

I can describe my life is what  just like the way I want it, simpler yet full of life. I like to gain everything that make my life meaningful..even some people say I'm making myself hard for others, but for me what is the life is when there is no even a single scratch pays? Satisfaction is the point when doing something. A watcher can say thousands words but the player get the true meaning of it. After all, all the heart broken, hurt and pain, anger or frustrated, headache and hatred, it paid when people noticed we are here, who we are and they do realize no one can replace me and that make me felt nice, sweet, happy, touched, Important. That the meaning of LIFE, isn't it? V(^______________^)V