Tuesday, Nov 2010. Approx. 10.10.
Today doesn't felt just right..I dont know why this lately my mood does't felt just right. I was in the middle of conversation when all the sudden I felt down. If some times I felt ok, just a snap of time I felt not right. Today is the worst. While I'm packing, there are so many thing run in my head. I felt want to run away from all this. Everything doesn't seem right. Heartache so much until I don't know how to react anymore. For the first time, I throw away my handphone. Its so not like me. I hate it when people planning for me, even though they know my plan today. Don't say about concern, while U never be to me. Don't ever2 say u understand me, while U never even a bit. Don't ever say U know me when all the thing U have done not a little bit match me. I hate being this angry, and I hate this kinda situation. I barely drop my tears even for the hardest time and it will hold on to as far as I can. Its hard for me to take this kinda life, and I hope when someday when my heart stop smiling to others, I will go on my life by myself as usual, and all this will never appear in my life again. I hate being soft and being used to. When can I be the way I want it? without feeling like I am being guilty to other. I felt sometimes I want to smile outside and inside, but its just not the way my life run.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Kehidupan di hari 011110
Monday, Nov 2010. Approx. 9.40pm
Arini baru prasan cam no binari plk, 1 Nov 2010 - 011110. Tapi arini pas da beli sesuatu, baru prasan tarikh best nie, tpi masalahnyer beli tok org lain la plk..haha. Arini, awal pagi lgi mama da call, bagithu mama and ayah balik klang, pastu g Lowyat, xtahu la plk wat pe..ingatkan arini nk jenguk kat taska jumpe my Dear, terpakse la tangguh esok..So arini whole day temankan adik g beli kasut and jalan2 kat TESCO. Aduyai, leceh giler nak cari kasut lelaki ni. Da la mahal, pastu design cm lebey kurang jer..apsal la barang laki ni mahal2, huhu..Balik sempat masak lunch, lapar giler td.. express jer masak tok adik2 n abg2 skali sbb da xtertanggung kelaparan. Abis msk mmg xsdar donia da ngap jer xnmpak org len da.. haha
Pas g cari kasut, singgah LENO cari barang2 Uda plk, mmg soping sakan tol Uda nie, tu pn nasib jer yg kat Kajang nie ade barang yg xde, so esok g kat Bangi pnye plk. Xper la..kat Labuan manada dah benda cmnie, kalo aku pn borong kot..tpi sbb bajet, bia la dulu.. Masalah plk ade ms balik nie..Esok plk patut plan adik and akak nak g Genting, tapi from the beginning aku da bgthu mmg aku xtahan tanah tinggi nie, mmg kalah org morning sickness. Tambah g ngan keadaan bising camtu, bukan bley release tensen pn, makin serabut ade la..kalo nak release btol2, g la pantai ker, sungai ker, TAMAN NEGARA ker.. <hehe~> asalkan bukan tempat serabut cm Genting tu..plak da mama balik tdi bgthu akak xjadi g sebab suami xbagi.Tu la..dari awal lgi aku da cakap, sblm tempah hotel lagi da pesan, da bgthu suami blom? da ade keizinan ker? plan btol2..sbb nk pegi bsuka ria cmtu mkn byk duit.
Kan bgus g pantai jer..xpn tasik ker, sungai ker..hal masak2 ok je tada hal aku ley wat, tpi xde la makan duit sgt. Ni kat genting nk beli tiket lg, nk beli mknn lagi, byk pkai duit la..ni tak, akak cakap xsuke planning, kalo planning msti xjadi..ade plk cmtu. planning la asas segala2nyer.da plk bile suami xkasi, jgn salahkn suami plk, bkn nk bincang elok2 dulu. Ni da bagi harapan kat adik, pastu jadi cmni plk..xke nyusahkan org cmtu..tensen jer. Pastu mama plk asik2 persuade aku suh g, sbb nnt yg g mama, ayah ngan adik, adik naim plk tibe2 kansel xmo ikot. mslhnyer sok aku da ade planning sendiri, tinggal 3hari jer aku kat sini b4 g Labuan, byk benda nak setel. Ni aku xthu cmne da..ak da suggest suh ganti g sungai jer <sbb brg makan sume ayah da beli> mama plk byk songeh..Aduyai, kesiannyer adik aku sorg nie, dri kecik dok asrama, bape kali trip g Genting sume die miss, tu pasal die tuntut. Suma barang nk g Genting pn die da beli, kasut, cemate itam pn die beli <macho ar adik aku nie rupenyer bkace mate itam, wahaha~>, siap pinjam sweater kawan g tu.. Aku mmg spent arini entertain die habis2, sbb aku tau sok xdpt ikot die, alih2 jadi cmni plk..buntu gile skg. Kadang2 benci gak la jdi terlalu lembut hati nie, bukan salah sndiri pn <sbb da bgthu awl2 xmo ikot> tpi rs bsalah sbb adik xde kawan nnt,cmne la rsenyer.. mmg xbest langsung la nnt. Masalah aku plk ade planning sndiri sok..kalo x biarpn aku muntah n-th times, aku xkesah jnji adik ade teman, serabutnyer pikir..cmne ea..(!____!)
Arini baru prasan cam no binari plk, 1 Nov 2010 - 011110. Tapi arini pas da beli sesuatu, baru prasan tarikh best nie, tpi masalahnyer beli tok org lain la plk..haha. Arini, awal pagi lgi mama da call, bagithu mama and ayah balik klang, pastu g Lowyat, xtahu la plk wat pe..ingatkan arini nk jenguk kat taska jumpe my Dear, terpakse la tangguh esok..So arini whole day temankan adik g beli kasut and jalan2 kat TESCO. Aduyai, leceh giler nak cari kasut lelaki ni. Da la mahal, pastu design cm lebey kurang jer..apsal la barang laki ni mahal2, huhu..Balik sempat masak lunch, lapar giler td.. express jer masak tok adik2 n abg2 skali sbb da xtertanggung kelaparan. Abis msk mmg xsdar donia da ngap jer xnmpak org len da.. haha
Pas g cari kasut, singgah LENO cari barang2 Uda plk, mmg soping sakan tol Uda nie, tu pn nasib jer yg kat Kajang nie ade barang yg xde, so esok g kat Bangi pnye plk. Xper la..kat Labuan manada dah benda cmnie, kalo aku pn borong kot..tpi sbb bajet, bia la dulu.. Masalah plk ade ms balik nie..Esok plk patut plan adik and akak nak g Genting, tapi from the beginning aku da bgthu mmg aku xtahan tanah tinggi nie, mmg kalah org morning sickness. Tambah g ngan keadaan bising camtu, bukan bley release tensen pn, makin serabut ade la..kalo nak release btol2, g la pantai ker, sungai ker, TAMAN NEGARA ker.. <hehe~> asalkan bukan tempat serabut cm Genting tu..plak da mama balik tdi bgthu akak xjadi g sebab suami xbagi.Tu la..dari awal lgi aku da cakap, sblm tempah hotel lagi da pesan, da bgthu suami blom? da ade keizinan ker? plan btol2..sbb nk pegi bsuka ria cmtu mkn byk duit.
Kan bgus g pantai jer..xpn tasik ker, sungai ker..hal masak2 ok je tada hal aku ley wat, tpi xde la makan duit sgt. Ni kat genting nk beli tiket lg, nk beli mknn lagi, byk pkai duit la..ni tak, akak cakap xsuke planning, kalo planning msti xjadi..ade plk cmtu. planning la asas segala2nyer.da plk bile suami xkasi, jgn salahkn suami plk, bkn nk bincang elok2 dulu. Ni da bagi harapan kat adik, pastu jadi cmni plk..xke nyusahkan org cmtu..tensen jer. Pastu mama plk asik2 persuade aku suh g, sbb nnt yg g mama, ayah ngan adik, adik naim plk tibe2 kansel xmo ikot. mslhnyer sok aku da ade planning sendiri, tinggal 3hari jer aku kat sini b4 g Labuan, byk benda nak setel. Ni aku xthu cmne da..ak da suggest suh ganti g sungai jer <sbb brg makan sume ayah da beli> mama plk byk songeh..Aduyai, kesiannyer adik aku sorg nie, dri kecik dok asrama, bape kali trip g Genting sume die miss, tu pasal die tuntut. Suma barang nk g Genting pn die da beli, kasut, cemate itam pn die beli <macho ar adik aku nie rupenyer bkace mate itam, wahaha~>, siap pinjam sweater kawan g tu.. Aku mmg spent arini entertain die habis2, sbb aku tau sok xdpt ikot die, alih2 jadi cmni plk..buntu gile skg. Kadang2 benci gak la jdi terlalu lembut hati nie, bukan salah sndiri pn <sbb da bgthu awl2 xmo ikot> tpi rs bsalah sbb adik xde kawan nnt,cmne la rsenyer.. mmg xbest langsung la nnt. Masalah aku plk ade planning sndiri sok..kalo x biarpn aku muntah n-th times, aku xkesah jnji adik ade teman, serabutnyer pikir..cmne ea..(!____!)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
My Sunday~
Sunday, Oct 2010. Approx 1.46pm.
Today I felt like family chores day in my rent house. This morning we cleaned up backyard, cut all the trees that blocking our kitchen window <wahh..I can makcik next door cooking chapatti n curry for lunch, haha~>, then we moved the broken refrigerator and washing machine and replace with ours. Now our dry kitchen more spacious <hope both new housemate will not take advantage of it..kinda sick with their attitude lately~>. I just don't know how they manage in their own home when here there is nothing too see whether they cleaned up kitchen, or put all the dishes to rack, throw away garbage or even cleaned up the living room. At least make it comfortable to live, can ya?huhu..
Adah and kak Fiza already out for lunch, I just don't have mood to have lunch outside, so I rather cooking home with this tired body. Its ok la..as long I can cook for dinner also, so when Uda came home the is dinner on table. Today is her last day working, the is 3 days left before I'm going home to Labuan.
I don't know lately its kinda lazy to go back there since some times I just cant see what I can do there. Here, there is lots I can do, if not stopping by kindergarten I will go home do some home chores, cooking, cleaning, make up bed, check out my facebook or reading something on net. but there with no internet <sometimes when I can access the net, only for awhile>, what make me like there is the sea. They got beautiful scenery there, which I know its the only place I rest rest my head. When I'm in front the sea,I can hear the waves, feel the breeze, counting the small crabs..its really relaxing.but relax too much is not my style. I hate sitting without doing nothing. The only reason I came home to Labuan, only Allah knows why. Nowadays, its just don't feel the same. No excitement like before, no more counting days..why is that happening to me? Hope I can find the answer later...(T____T)
Today I felt like family chores day in my rent house. This morning we cleaned up backyard, cut all the trees that blocking our kitchen window <wahh..I can makcik next door cooking chapatti n curry for lunch, haha~>, then we moved the broken refrigerator and washing machine and replace with ours. Now our dry kitchen more spacious <hope both new housemate will not take advantage of it..kinda sick with their attitude lately~>. I just don't know how they manage in their own home when here there is nothing too see whether they cleaned up kitchen, or put all the dishes to rack, throw away garbage or even cleaned up the living room. At least make it comfortable to live, can ya?huhu..
Adah and kak Fiza already out for lunch, I just don't have mood to have lunch outside, so I rather cooking home with this tired body. Its ok la..as long I can cook for dinner also, so when Uda came home the is dinner on table. Today is her last day working, the is 3 days left before I'm going home to Labuan.
I don't know lately its kinda lazy to go back there since some times I just cant see what I can do there. Here, there is lots I can do, if not stopping by kindergarten I will go home do some home chores, cooking, cleaning, make up bed, check out my facebook or reading something on net. but there with no internet <sometimes when I can access the net, only for awhile>, what make me like there is the sea. They got beautiful scenery there, which I know its the only place I rest rest my head. When I'm in front the sea,I can hear the waves, feel the breeze, counting the small crabs..its really relaxing.but relax too much is not my style. I hate sitting without doing nothing. The only reason I came home to Labuan, only Allah knows why. Nowadays, its just don't feel the same. No excitement like before, no more counting days..why is that happening to me? Hope I can find the answer later...(T____T)
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