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Tuesday, Nov 2010. Approx. 10.10.

Today doesn't felt just right..I dont know why this lately my mood does't felt just right. I was in the middle of conversation when all the sudden I felt down. If some times I felt ok, just a snap of time I felt not right. Today is the worst. While I'm packing, there are so many thing run in my head. I felt want to run away from all this. Everything doesn't seem right. Heartache so much until I don't know how to react anymore. For the first time, I throw away my handphone. Its so not like me. I hate it when people planning for me, even though they know my plan today. Don't say about concern, while U never be to me. Don't ever2 say u understand me, while U never even a bit. Don't ever say U know me when all the thing U have done not a little bit match me. I hate being this angry, and I hate this kinda situation. I barely drop my tears even for the hardest time and it will hold on to as far as I can. Its hard for me to take this kinda life, and I hope when someday when my heart stop smiling to others, I will go on my life by myself as usual, and all this will never appear in my life again. I hate being soft and being used to. When can I be the way I want it? without feeling like I am being guilty to other. I felt sometimes I want to smile outside and inside, but its just not the way my life run.